Sturdy as an Oak with Mamorlis
Art: Maria Pintz
Rooster and Madani started the band after Cryptic Edifice fell apart. Rooster initially hired a singer named Lynsay for her feminine appeal, but she lost her lyric book and never rewrote anything. He put his feelers out for another singer, and only commies replied, so we decided I would shriek and drum simultaneously. Now we have Scott’ The Ho-Plow’ DeRosia playing drums. JD Davis plays bass, replacing Brian Rush, who went on to collect roadkill.
The second record, ‘Sturdy as an Oak,’ is about getting hard with your bros. The creative process involves yelling at each other for months, sometimes years until an album is completed. I once smashed a bong to save the band from the pitfalls of the weed junkie lifestyle. This happened in another band, but I occasionally bring it up to instill fear. I am the band’s Mussolini.
I believe extraterrestrial beings seeded us humans. If I could strangle one grey cocksucker to death or cave its fucking head in with a rock, I’d be satisfied. I believe music should be written sometimes with friends and sometimes alone, but always to get laid one day.
I think I stole a ‘We Sold Our Soul For Rock And Roll’ CD from my brother.. Fuck him; he always stole my t-shirts. I played it on repeat while playing Super Mario.
Music’s original function was to create a berserk, trance-like state for one to abduct then the neighbouring tribe’s women and club a rival in the head, collect your enemy’s jaw bones and teeth, perhaps construct an archaic bandoleer of severed ears and foreskin and present it to a prospective mate—the soundtrack to the foreplay and lovemaking of our lives. I don’t believe anything has changed.